Tips to Overcome a Difficult Birth Experience

Sometimes childbirth can be unexpectedly challenging, overwhelming, and even heartbreaking. If you have experienced a difficult birth, follow these steps to help yourself overcome it.

• Give Yourself Time to Express Your Emotions. A difficult birth experience can mean a different thing to many women; in some cases, it involves having used medication or an epidural when you had intended to resist, while in others it may mean a stillbirth, birth defect, or unanticipated surgical delivery. Whatever the cause of your difficult birth experience, do not feel guilty for giving into your emotions. Acknowledge your sadness and disappointment and realize that it will take time to heal.

1. Do not be afraid to grieve. Especially if you have experienced a stillbirth or traumatic birthing experience, you will need time to work through your emotions.
2. It is probable you will naturally flow through the stages of grief, including shock or denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You may take different amounts of time to get through each stage, and you may need more help during the stages that are most distressing for you.

• Talk with loved ones about your emotions. Sharing your feelings with people you care about lets them know what you are going through and can help them know how to best help you overcome your difficult experience.
• Consider joining a support group. Many online and community groups exist for women who have experienced a loss or disappointment surrounding childbirth.
• Seek professional counseling if needed. Having a difficult birth experience is no small matter, and can develop into depression in some cases.
• Develop a Strong Bond with Your Baby. Regardless of the circumstances of your difficult birth experience, there should be ways in which you can start to heal by connecting with your child. Even in cases of stillbirth, it is important to spend time with your baby and to document the moments you have with your baby. Participating in the typical rituals of new motherhood can help provide cherished memories, important bonding moments, and healing or acceptance.

1. Hold or spend time with your baby. If your baby has died or if your baby was born very prematurely, you may have limited time in which you can hold or touch your baby. When you have the opportunity to be near him or her, take advantage of it.
2. If your baby is living and out of the hospital, spend time with him or her holding, cuddling, and playing, if possible.
3. Try singing lullabies, reading stories, and talking to your little one, even if he or she cannot hear you.
4. Document the birth of your child. Make sure the hospital is able to collect measurements, provide hand or foot imprints of your baby, and will allow you to collect items of clothing or a lock of hair for keepsakes.
5. Perform religious or cultural rituals as you normally would. Participating in experiences you expected to have before delivery may also restore a sense of peace or hope, helping you move past the difficult childbirth experience.